Paradis. Heaven. Iad. Hell. Welcome to my Limbo. Rock My World.

There’s this really unusual yet interesting site my En11 professor mentioned to us earlier. It’s called PostSecret. It’s a blog w/c contains the secrets of different people who sent them to the author anonymously. I find it interesting because sometimes, what we think is embarrassing, may be normal for someone else. (Side Comment: It’s a genius idea, but I also think that it makes us realize something else. How come these people are telling their deepest and darkest secrets to some person they don’t know, yet they can’t even tell their friends. I think that if we can manage to tell the online community our secrets, we should also be able to tell our friends. It’s just a thought.)

There were also many contradicting secrets. One mother wished she hadn’t aborted her child, while one wished she did. One person went to her prom with a gay guy… but hey? That’s okay. I mean, I think going with a gay guy is fine. Your date doesn’t necessarily have to be your lover/crush. You could also go with a good friend. Some people also admitted to want to commit suicide, while others proudly said that they’ve decided to choose life over death. A person commented about dating a nerd guy…and laughing about how nerdy he was… but actually… He dumped her. I found this stereotype against nerds annoying. However, maybe because I’m a bit nerdy myself. I like Star Trek. I like anime. I go to conventions. I like nerdy guys. Nerdy guys are cool. They have a lot to talk about. (Nerd stuff, but hey! They’re interesting to listen to… most of the time)

However, the ‘secret’ that struck me the most was the picture of kids in a pool with the text, “I miss our old problems”. I don’t like the idea of growing up. I feel old. I still long for the days where the only problems I had were to fix my Barbie dolls and put them back in the cabinet after I was through playing with them. I miss the days when everyone was your friend. When you grow up, friendships break often. I miss the days when you didn’t have to worry about love and relationships. Fighting hurts. No matter how big or how small the problem is. I miss the days when love and friendship brought two people together, not apart. (Fyi: I’m not talking about myself in that sentence) I miss the days when you didn’t have to worry about money because you were too young to do so. I miss the days when you didn’t really understand what ‘war and poverty’ were, so you’d always think of the world as full of sunshine and happiness.

I envy Peter Pan. Although, ‘falling in love’ is a wonderful feeling. (Something NOTHING can compare to). Sometimes, you can’t help but feel that the hurt is too much to bear, that not even the wonderful feelings can help heal the past. Once you’ve opened your eyes to the realities of the world, there’s no turning back. I wish I was still as innocent as I was before. Sometimes I wish I could redo that moment when my eyes were opened to the world… But I can’t. It has helped me grow as a person, but it had also destroyed me.