As the Wind Changes
The wind. You can neither grasp it nor touch it, but you can feel it flowing through your fingers or blowing through your hair. It isn’t within our capabilities to dictate where the wind goes. Instead, we let the wind take us.
Change is constant. We can not escape the flow of time. It shapes us each time something happens to us whether we’re just walking down the street and we come across the neighbor’s cute dog, or if we decide to open up our hearts again. We may or may not feel the changes that happen to us, but if we pause and reflect on our lives, it will become more obvious to us.
So many things have happened to me already that I wonder if I am still the person I used to be. I’ve experience death so many times. I’ve survived broken friendships. I have loved and been loved. I have had my heart broken. All that… and more…
I used to be really shy, but as time passed, I became stronger and more confident. Although a little of that part is still left in me, I believe that I’ve changed so much since then. I also ‘grew’ up. I used to have such an idealistic view of the world. I believed that the world was really good. I believed that life was great and as long as I believed, I wouldn’t get hurt. I was wrong.
Now, I find myself in between a war. A war between my heart… and my mind. I can’t accept reality. I believed in my ideals too much to let it go. My idealistic nature is part of me. To let go of my ideals, is to lose my identity. Some people would say I’m stupid… but no matter how hard I try, or no matter how many times reality strikes me… I can’t change that part of me. Although there are times that I accept reality for fear of being hurt again. But still, in the deepest corners of my heart, I still believe that everything would be okay. Sometimes I act mature. I say things that are realistic and true…but… it hurts. It hurts to say something you know you have to say or do something you know you have to do… even if it is against your will.
However, I continue to fight. I believe and hope I’m still fighting. I don’t want to be like the others who have given up. So if I have ever given you realistic advice, and I sounded so serious… please don’t believe me. We don’t need more realistic people in the world. Perhaps in order to heal the world, we must first have faith and learn to respect that faith.